Call me Casper the Friendly Ghost-Tweeter

I could say it better myself -- but not just yet

What's the solution? These people all need professional help. But since they're unlikely to spend the time they need on the psychiatrist's couch, they'll doubtless end up hiring assistants adept in social media. Ghostwritten Twitters are the hot new Hollywood must-have.

Every tweet will be media-coached. Every blog will be relentlessly edited — and then have typos inserted for authenticity. (Is that why someone pretending to be Rachael Ray consistently misspelled the cooking-show personality's name on a Yahoo blog?) The kids who are pretending to be celebrities on Twitter today will no doubt get paid to do it in the future.

Watch this space: never underestimate the substance beneath the stylish smoke and mirrors, there's jobs to be saved -- and plenty more to be made -- in this digital age ...

My twitter can die happy and go to twitter heaven now ...

Eastbound and down ...

means I'm on the up-and-up

See, there's hope for the bullied kids yet ...

Glenn Beck. Rising star. -- no, that's not right. Glenn Beck, rising star?! -- that's more like it.

I mean with a glam-fab head shot like that, how could he not be a rising star? Not to mention his on-screen presence ...



Plus he's been doing it for years. It hasn't always been easy, but he had to take what Diddy calls the "Rihanna Road," where progress is a slow process. Beck's been nose to the grindstone forever, I suppose it is about time he see the fruits of his labor ...

Not everyone can support Global Warming as the world's biggest scam ...



or stand on the same pedestal of political pre-eminence as Ann Coulter ...



or make candy bars come out of their butts?



or be creepy ...



all the time ...



but that's called moxy and moxy makes it to the top.

Watch this space: Especially, if you've never seen a star on the rise. I've been watching this space forever, but I liked it better when it was called Public Access Television.

Distriction: It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas ...

... and the flurry of finger pointing a la British investigative journalism puts a possible smudge on the as-of-yet snow white reputation of the second daughter, Ashley Biden -- but more so on her father, "Can-I-call-you-Joe" Biden


Biden -- Mr. that is -- is an adamant supporter of the anti-drug campaign, specifically -- you guessed it -- the trafficking of cocaine from Columbia

Since becoming a senator for Delaware in 1973, Mr Biden has pushed for harder penalties for cocaine possession and trafficking and last year sponsored a new bill aimed at curbing the smuggling of Colombian cocaine into the US in submarines.

Say it ain't so Joe! even if it is so joe, there's worse things she could do ... her last name could be Dupre

In related news: sports

British print media: 2; Young American public figures: 0
Disabled list: Michael Phelps, Ashley Biden

American print media: we lost count; British public figures: 0
Disabled list: Amy Winehouse, Lily Allen, Kate Moss, Pete Doherty, Russell Brand, etc.

Distriction: Springing back from cy-bernating slumber

This weekend welcomed the Cherry Blossom Festival, DC's cultural introduction to Spring -- and the perfect way to wake from a late winter hibernation from the digital domain.


A brief greeting after my semi-extended stint away from the blogosphere. I took some time to rest and refuel my creative reserves -- similar to a bear's hibernation for the digital age, more tech and less time.


So, I'm back now: like Bipartisanship a la Britney ...



black ...



babies ...


Bush (W.) -- a la Barack ...


the sound of dot-com bubbles bursting ...


and dot-com bubbles broadening ...



Scientology -- a la Palin's people ...


bracketology ...


and those beautiful cherry blossoms.


A week (end) in review -- in case you missed it

The Quarter: Title Mag

The kid's alright ... Title Magazine Editor-in-Chief Catherine Bui stopped by the Motel to let us in on her latest work:


The Quarter is a fourth of a dollar and the Fourth Estate went from promoting public opinion to profiting the private sector -- but a quarter is still a fourth and it's always a pleasant surprise to see the vanity press resurfacing. Now, the point, over at MdM a visitor sent a link to their magazine -- and I had to pass it along. So, here is an introduction to Title Magazine



At it's core, Title Magazine is an independent culture magazine on the upstart. For it's first issue, I was blown away at the clean design, and diversity of artwork and editorials. If only I had this kind of get-up-and-go as a teenager -- or a young adult at that.



Catherine Bui has her finger on the pulse. For a junior in high school this is an excellent example of how to present oneself as an asset to the cultural online media community. Title is a portfolio of visual and editorial pieces. Moreover, it displays a strong grasp of the digital sphere to produce an original online magazine of this calibre. Beyond the personal positioning though, Title is just a great publication for the culture and arts crowds.


I anticipate great things from Catherine & Co. A personal favorite within the inaugural issue was this foray into "Underexposed Photographer," Nick Asokan's work.


In my day, we had school newspapers; obviously, times have changed. It's great to see pockets of passion within the next generation of journalists and future media figures.


Title Magazine is an example of positive perpetuation: Bui's initiative is the kind that makes you, too, want to "Follow your dream."


Watch this space

Distriction: A is for American -- all day

To the victors go the spoils ... no matter how unpredictably fleeting

watch this space: while you can

Distriction: We're Dancin'

To Justice's request, "Do the D.A.N.C.E.; 1,2,3,4,5" DC's American University basketball takes one from their hometown's Commander and says "Yes We Can."


Watch this space: it's my alma mater

Distriction: Ba-sham-rack O'bama

The Hill was alive with the sound of Gaelic today -- and the green garb to boot -- as President O'Bama welcomed his "brother from another mother" -- land, Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen


It's all fun and festive until the water is flowing from your faucet ...


Green might be having the best day ever: White House fountain, Ba-sham-rack's tie, Dow arrows, AIG Exec's pockets, sprouting soon-to-be-Springtime grass ... fitting and fresh.

Because I'm busy that's why

Like N.E.R.D. said "It's time for some action," so while I'm out studying the world in 4 minutes just know I've got the wiings to stay fly. Schoolwork, work work, life work: only work if you work them

In between inspiration: synthetic ...


and organic ...


I work hard now so I won't have to settle for situations involving Sarah later.

Though it's still not too late for her to employ my no-fail two-step plan: magazines and manners, remember them -- keep those in mind and it should be easy sailin' for Palin. As for where that tugboat is going exactly, I'm sure I don't know; but there's bound to be a loyal fleet of good ol' boats following.

Watch this space: Will discuss after I TiVo it ...

photo credit: munzz

Distriction: DC HIV/AIDS Rates Surpass West Africa

Because it's not just a third-world problem, it's a problem on Third and Maryland Ave too


More imperative -- but innately intertwined -- with the "Anti-Journalism" movement is the need to debunk the (mediated) HIV/AIDS mythologies within the U.S. For example: toting Africa as the world's AIDS haven. HIV/AIDS -- like hunger, like poverty, like inadequate education -- does not stop at our doorstep. The sooner we come to terms with social pandemics -- and take accountability and ownership of them as our own -- the sooner we can solve the problem.

As the Obama Administration aims to reconnect the U.S. with our international partners, it is key that we as Americans look -- beyond politics, to people -- at shared experiences between ourselves and our fellow global citizens -- flaws and all.

Hopefully, this sparks an expansion initiative for the Project Red -- who's brilliant campaign stimulates charity, capitalism, and consumption ... all in one! The brand's mission to "fight AIDS in Africa," would provide worlds of support -- literally -- to fight the AIDS within the U.S. as well. Even a campaign to establish sub-projects -- country/region specific extensions within the larger "Project Red" umbrella -- would present the gravity in sheer breadth of the social crisis, but more so the solidarity behind the solution.



Watch this space

So much for the free Aqua Dots ...

Now I'll never get to be on Evil's speed dial; thanks, Rachel -- but, seriously, thanks


Progress is a slow process, but someone out there is reading this blog -- though I didn't think it would be a Burson-Marsteller watchdog group -- an audience is an audience.

Looks like I'll need some image consultation to get back in Burson's good graces. So ... now would be a good time to call Burson-Marsteller so I -- they -- can spin this post about themselves to themselves.

Tweeting Made Easy: We Follow

Per T.I.'s suggestion: "They don't know which way to go/I'll make it easy follow me." Twitter launched a site rendering "I have a Twitter, but I don't know what to do with it now that I'm there," a thing of the past. We follow is a "user powered Twitter directory," -- a Twitter search engine, of sorts, using hashtags as keywords to find and follow fellow Tweeters of a feather.

To add yourself to the directory enable/follow @hashtags, then tweet @wefollow three 1 word tags that describe you/your twitter page (i.e. @wefollow #blogger #music #dc) ... it's just that easy!


Obviously the big tags at the mo are (in very particular order) celebrity, music, tech, news -- and yes this is an apt reflection on priorities within the Twitter community.

After a winded round-the-world "Twitter is no threat to G" lecture series, Google is resting its voice and opting to Tweet instead of talk for the time being ... If you can't beat em, define yourself in three tags or less and enter the directory like everyone else ...


Speaking of Twitter -- which is becoming the modern day equivalent of "How's the weather?" -- I'll make it easy ... for you to follow me.

Watch this space: Old man Google's Tweets are speaking louder than his words -- for Twitter to be such a non-threat, We Follow got the leader to G Follow pretty quickly

"Anti-Journalism" 101

Journalists need the work, educators need the break, and students need the media literacy training.



Educators have been teaching students how to read and write what is printed for centuries. Now, in a time of unparalleled transition, ex-journalists are re-entering the classroom to teach students how to read what is in between the print -- and in between the blurred lines of news/entertainment. News literacy is increasingly important in social and personal development -- with more time being spent in front of a television or computer screen over textbooks. Where "the media" is replacing teachers, textbooks, and tutors; former media professionals are becoming teachers and tutors, explaining how to decipher through the tech-books of mainstream news/entertainment.

Some say we are drowning in information and starving for knowledge -- I conquer. However, initiatives like this one at Stony Brook set blueprints for a new media that aims to inform -- not inundate.

Watch this space: more to come ...

iDaft.com: MCPD 1000 - Music Production 2.0 (Sampling Methods)

Kanye University is hoping to rise through the U.S. News & World Report "Liberal Arts" college rankings by introducing an entree of innovative courses over the next few semesters. The first of which -- Music Production 2.0 (Sampling Methods) -- takes a hands-on approach to teaching its students the art of sampling, in a way only Kan the Louis Vuitton Don could.


Using iDaft, professors literally put the power of production right in the palms of their pupils.

Students mix, mash, chop, screw, smother, scatter, and cover vocal stems from Daft Punk's Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger. The end result could be something completely -- kind of -- original or just a tweak of Kanye's stab at the electro-classic.

Word around the rumor mill is that the scholar assembling the best product gets contracted for an official remix on Ye's next album: Twelfth of Nevuary. But wait there's more! -- Because the rumor mill never stops churning -- some would-slash-have say-slash-said next semester's course will be more streamlined, some might say ... Aerodynamic?

The good news is you don't have to be enrolled in KU to take advantage of the learning tools. You too can be a Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger uberproducer -- which is the rough equivalent to "half-as-good-as-Kanye-thinks-he-is" or "twice-as-good-as-people-give-him-credit-for."

Kanye University is accepting applications for the Fall 2009 semester on a rolling deadline. So take your time, prep your portfolio, and drive slow.

Distriction: Coming coming ... back back ... to DC DC

Short stint in Atlanta sadly coming to a close, but we all knew the return was imminent ...



While I'm Mid-Air, a little something to get the DC mode going for the rest of you: Distriction: City Soul

See you on the other side.

Mode: on

Bristol Palin: Why ya buggin?!

Oh. Right. The whole "my-mom-ran-for-vice-president-and-lost-and-all-i-got-was-this-baby-and-pending-child-support" thing ...


When life gives you lemons Bristol ... ask, "In what respect, Charlie?" ... then pass the baby to your little sister for grooming, and pre-game for the heli-hunt. By the looks of the new and improved lil' Miss Palin -- talking Pro-Choice, using logic, ending up on Keith Olbermann and not as the embodiment of evil -- it might be your last hunt.

Two thumbs fresh for Bristol. Her mom may not know politics, and I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but Bristol knows Deepthroat: "Follow the money."

Levi Johnson: Levi's jeans and Johnson & Johnson?! oh ... he's broke. Figures, after all, Johnson & Johnson is "a family company," while Levi is on "Federline company" kind of time.

Well, either way, I don't know what 20% of zero is but after carrying ones and working out remainders Bristol is bound to be ... on the receiving end of the stimulus package -- doesn't seem so silly now, does it?

Watch this space: Bristol might be the one to pull through ... who knows she might even be able to name a magazine she reads

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Oh those pesky boys and girls ... always begging to seek amy

At long last -- for those who cared, namely: troubled persons named amy, angry radio producers, myself -- Britney Spears' new video for "If U Seek Amy" dropped today ...


American Beauty + Britney Spears + Pies + Kate Trask + Funhouse/Madhouse + Mad Men + Justify My Love + June Cleaver = "If U Seek Amy"



And, yes, after watching the video ... "All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to if you seek amy"

Oh and for the record: double points for pop culture and puns -- because "begging to if you seek amy" is grammatically incorrect, but quite clever ... triple points if you include the politics behind radio censorship ...

watch this space: apb/amber alert on last name: amy-dammit, first name: seek me, middle initials: i.m.

Watch This Space: ThruYOU

Just when you thought it was safe to come out again ... Kutiman killed the lights


ThruYOU is a brilliant site that takes mixtapes to the tube. YouTube + DatPiff + Grit+ Girl Talk + je ne sais quoi + Kutiman = ThruYOU.

What you are about to see is a mix of unrelated YouTube videos/clips edited together to create ThruYou. In other words -- what you see is what you hear.

For instance ...



Watch This Space ...

Five Fingers? Try the TX Ten-Gallon Discount ...

A ten-gallon tip of the hat to Chris Abraham for passing along the FREE NPR/iTunes SXSW Sampler


I could've cropped out the PBR ad ... but why? Cheers to free and fresh live music.

That's the Breaks

Spring Breaks that is ...


Devoting today to academic/professional pursuits -- little Spring Cleaning if you will ...

Stay tuned: As always, I'll return a more sapient individual ... shan't be long.

In the mean time though ...

Even the paperboy retires at some point ...

Beyond the sarcasm, cynicism, and spin, past the pseudo-pretentious theory on the endless possibilities of the digital age -- every new beginning is some beginning's end.

Over the last few weeks, the newspaper industry has entered a new period of decline. The parent of the papers in Philadelphia declared bankruptcy as did the Journal Register chain. The Rocky Mountain News closed and the Seattle Post Intelligencer, owned by Hearst, will almost certainly close or only publish online. Hearst has said it will also close The San Francisco Chronicle if it cannot make massive cuts at the paper. The most recent rumor is that the company will fire half of the editorial staff. That action still may not be enough to make the property profitable.

Mr. Twitter goes a-courtin'

"@twittybird ugh so bored. in the #jury assembly. taking 4. e. ver. free lunch can't complain. keep u postd soon. pics: http://tinyurl ..."

yes. twitter in the courtroom.


@TruTV. Sentencing in 140 Characters or less. Verdict via TwitterBerry ... it could happen

The British Sublet: Stem Cell Bans and Bands Selling Stems

Again with the British-American tandem ... Spring theme-du-jour: stems. While an American politician lifts the federal funding ban on stem cell research -- to build a legion of South Park-esque Supermen no doubt -- a British pop powerhouse builds a legion of super-producers. Thanks to stems you can be a superhero and a super producer ... all in one!

On our coast this weekend, Barack Obama planned a much needed lift on the stem-cell research federal funding ban -- per Peter Griffin's inquiry of "Why aren't we funding this?!" no doubt.


On the other side of the pond, lil' Miss Lily Rose lifted the Oz/ProTools curtain and tucked an 80-track surprise in each hard copy and iTunes version of her album "It's Not Me It's You." Anyone who uploads their legal copy of the album gets each track stem from the release.

I finally mustered up the civility to get my hands on a hard copy of INMIY -- solely because of the stems -- and it was worth every penny. Now, I'm finding it hard to break away from remixing Everyone's At It, revamping the drums on Chinese, or seeing how Back to the Start would sound if I dropped the vocoder. But the fun doesn't end with vanity listening sessions amongst you and your closest pal, remixers are encouraged to upload their exclusives for peer and label review ... so get on the 1s & 2s, start scratching away, and you'll be a Hollywood Kid in no time!

Stems are this girl's new best friend.

Oh, and it's not a British Invasion this time ... it's more of a sublet until things get back to normal

Watch this space

Solar Senate Passes Daylight Saving Stimulus Package

A friendly reminder to Spring Forward ... into yet another bailout -- even the Sun is starting to feel the heat of the recession


Global Warming is bad enough for the Sun's image, but not even the central orb has enough starpower to escape the recession. It's cashing in on over 300 million American taxpayer hours to make up for the Fiscal Year 2009 Q1 losses, and to try and salvage what's left of the FY09 Q2.

The Sun isn't a rookie in the bailout game. In fact the Sun has gotten an annual bailout -- equivalent to one hour per American resident -- every year since 1918. However, the Sun manages to maintain decent credit by paying down the loan to cover American daylight consumption through the crucial Q1 of the Fiscal Year, and most of Q2.

How much longer can Americans continue this give-and-take permaloan solar situation? It's not too clear, but rest assured you'll feel better about the bailout -- or find a way to rationalize it -- in the near future. Sources say the Sun just scheduled a week-long detox/rejuventation/reinvention makeover at Salon du Burson-Marsteller -- they're on solar speed dial for situations like this.

In related news: Clocks, too, are feeling the bailout backlash from the Daylight Saving Stimulus Package; sources indicate they've added Kearns and Company to their list of PR representation as well.

I'm coming home again ...

Spring Break! Second semester senior year of undergrad -- it breaks even. I'm headed home to pull a Sherman on Atlanta, then back here to pull an Obama on DC -- it breaks even. Either way: I'm coming home again ...



... ming home again


yes, i know. you can't "come home again" as they say. but i'm not they -- so, naturally, i can.

touch bases again after I touch down ... til then: be good. be well.

Kathie Lee: Because Oklahoma is spelled A-F-R-I-C-A ... the silent A threw me off

Pretense: Keep in mind it's March, Kathie Lee can't be expected to know about Africa matters beyond February -- it's called being fair. As far as Hoda's birthplace, just be happy Kathie Lee pronounced Kotb's name right. That said ...



Hoda and Kathie Lee: From the Sphinx to the Champs-Élysées. It's like Oprah and Gayle tripping across the country -- but more Kesey, less cornrows, more GPS, less coherence, more lost in translation, and much more kevlar -- or not at all like Oprah and Gayle's roadtrip...

Too early for questions? "Let me Google that for you"

No pretense needed here, it's self-explanatory -- but if not, feel free to let me Google that for you ... Okay, some sarcastic pretense

How did this come about and why? you ask. I can't say I kno-- oh, figures, them. No wonder everyone's all paranoid about Twitter, they're like what the intranet library database was to the Dewey Decmial System.

I bet Google nightmares in 140 characters or less... Watch this space, Google and traditional media loyalists (not the Tweeting sellouts) might get "Godfather" on Twitter -- then who's calling Burson?

Watch this space

Distriction: March 6th at the Smithsonian

So the Smithsonian is free. Spring is coming. Southerners prefer crunk, but if you're in the District it's about high time to get some culture in your system.

I'll be leaving DC for a quick stint, but worry not there will be plenty of other Districtions to keep you engaged ... and enlightened

I suggest seeing the "Road to Freedom" Civil Rights Movement Photograph Exhibit this weekend at the Ripley Center before it closes on Monday ... great pieces and quite timely -- two thumbs fresh.

And yes, perusing art galleries is a great way to make you feel clever ...

Watch this space: it's about to March Off Washington